Onion Article

     3 year old, Nathaniel Kosberg has sued his father today for the destruction of his snow castle. Police reports say that the father took a heat lamp and set it next to the fort with intentions of melting it. Young Nathaniel has video footage of the father snickering and writing his name on the side of the white structured walls with urine. Nathaniel had put over three weeks into building his new humble abode. The young architect is also pressing charges for the damaged toys that were placed inside of the fortress. Nathaniel stated that "My dad is a poopy man" when we interviewed him from his high chair yesterday. He began to cry when we brought up the fact that summer was close at hand, and that there wouldn't be another big snow. After a four hour nap we continued our interview, "I will never let him give me rasbraries ever again" said the young distraught 3 year old. The father was seen later giving young nathaniel a new pair of Jordan shoes, he stated "I never meant to mess with the J's". Nathaniel had forgotten about the lawsuit four minutes later.